One of the first things my teacher Dave taught me was, "Stop being afraid of yourself."  His intent was to train out of me the hesitance that characterized much of my early training.   I still remember the first time we engaged in the exercise, working outside one sunny Spring day.  Dave told me to imagine that one of my feet was nailed to the ground.  He was going to attack me.  I was to defend myself, to counter-attack, without giving ground.  I could move around the pivot point of my foot if I needed to, but I was not to let him force me back.

It was a daunting prospect at first.  Dave is much smaller than me but possessed so much more skill that sparring him was very intimidating.  Over time, though, it became much easier.  I reached the point where I actually preferred sparring Dave, because I knew that I would learn something each time.

Early in my training with him, Dave and I engage in a
modification of Shanliang Li's One-Hand Drill.

Interestingly enough, roughly one year after Dave became my instructor, different coworkers of mine told me, at different times, that I was "more assertive" or even "more aggressive."  They said at the time that  the change was apparent "in the last year or so."

Coincidentally, both of my teachers commented on the physical expression of this change when it occurred.  While working one-on-one with Dave or with Anthony, my former Wing Chun Sifu, I repeatedly, subconsciously, and slowly backed each one of them across the room.  The process was quite gradual.  We would be training and suddenly discover that we were once again too close to the wall.  Both Dave and Anthony had to prompt me to back up more than once to give them more room.

Dave found this almost amusing and told me that it made him proud.  To back up your opponent, to dominate the room in a way that gives you more space in which to operate while denying this to others, is an extremely useful tendency to cultivate.  I would like to think this habit is a natural outgrowth of becoming more confident in one's skills as a martial artist, but it is entirely possible that it requires conscious thought to develop.

When you spar and when you train (where applicable and prudent), push yourself.  Resist the temptation to give ground.  You may have to back up at times to take advantage of the footwork of your style, but when you do, follow up by driving forward to keep the initiative.