A few days prior to this posting, a fellow named Adam Alexander e-mailed me. It seems he was having trouble registering an account for our discussion forum through his iPhone. I’m not sure what about the registration process had him so confused, but I created an account for him and activated it, encouraging him to jump right in.
Well, jump right in he did. It was immediately apparent that Adam cared more about impressing us all with how brilliant he was, while making snotty comments to the forum membership, than he was in actually contributing. Amidst his bloviating he was warned a couple of times in rapid succession to drop the attitude. He chose, instead, to antagonize the forum administration, so he ended up banned in less than twenty posts.
As soon as I approved his banning I predicted that he would write to me, and of course he did. People like Adam always feel they’re doing you a very great favor by inflicting their brilliance on you, and they’re always slightly put out when you dare to reject their insight. Here are a few of Adam’s “greatest hits” on the forum:
…Are you looking and/or open to suggestions from a first-impression of it from a guy that doesn’t have any emotional investment in you?
When people know each other, they’re feelings interfere with their objective reasoning. If they like you, they think your garbage is good. When they dislike you, they claim your good is garbage. If you’re the critic, how you feel about yourself impacts your criticism. For example, if you’re a wanna be tough guy, you may fear stating your feelings. If sensitive, fear being direct. These are the results of emotional invesemts. Since I have little to none here, I’m more able to give an objective opinion… That and my marketing and sales experience…
…If you were dealing with a co-worker, neighbor, etc., then that position makes sense. However, if I did do that, it’d be easily removed, so the caution is rather hypersensitive. Second if I was looking for an opportunity to jerk people around, I wouldn’t ask. And third, you can check my post history over there. I’m hardly a troll.
Anyway, you guys ruined it with the build-up created…
…Just an FYI about this thread: I’m fairly indifferent. If my intention isn’t welcome, I simply find where it is…
…don’t know. If the sensitivity is because of [an irrelevant troll site], well I know how it feels. A few of them got me too, but that’s life. In my case, they called me on a serious character defect and it helped me because I chose to use it rather than resist. If you’re not taking a few hits, you’re just not working hard enough to do right.
Buck up and move forward.
…I like looking at myself in the mirror, too, when I’m twenty lbs lighter. I guess you’ll be requesting pics next…?
…Brother, no one brought up cool except for you. Secure people don’t worry about that sort of thing…
…I guess you kind of invited the [irrelevant troll site] drama, then. That’s what I like about that site. You know what you’re getting with no misrepresentation…
As you can imagine, somebody who writes like that gets pretty tiresome pretty fast. When Adam was banned, I posted on the forum that I would share his e-mail with all assembled when he wrote to me (because, I predicted, he would write to me). I was not disappointed:
from: Adam Alexander <adam_alexander_@hotmail.com>
to: Phil Elmore
date: Tue, Jan 19, 2010 at 10:28 AM
subject: Suggestion…Hey Phil,
No hard feelings on this side. However, just a word about how to prevent similar issues in the future.
If your administrator has a problem, he/she should resolve it via PM rather than on the board. Should your administrator find him/herself having initiated a flame war against an obviously wittier opponent and you find it necessary to support that administrator’s actions with your own condescending entry, then it should be done through the PM system.
Tact. It’s not hard and it respects egos.
Also, if you don’t want comments on your work, lock the thread.
Anyway, good luck. Martial arts and being prepared are good paths and I hope you continue to spread the word.
Sincerely,
Adam
The funniest part about this mail is being lectured on tact by someone who possesses none.
Still trying desperately to get the last word, he wrote this particularly ironic message:
from: Adam Alexander < adam_alexander_@hotmail.com >
to: Phil Elmore
date: Tue, Jan 19, 2010 at 1:11 PM
subject: RE: Suggestion…I know how it feels… A sense of powerlessness to stop responding… Your sense of worth contingent on being perceived as weak or beaten.
It takes a great deal of self-confrontation to overcome, but it can be done and when it is, it’s as if you never felt that way before.
Now, I’ll stop bothering you.
Here was my reply:
from: Phil Elmore
to: Adam Alexander < adam_alexander_@hotmail.com >
date: Tue, Jan 19, 2010 at 2:36 PM
subject: Re: Suggestion…You do realize, don’t you, the irony of lecturing anyone about repeatedly, obsessively responding to e-mail when that person has already asked you to stop writing, don’t you? You can prove to me just how dedicated you are to your own professed principles by not writing to me again.
