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"Stay 'unreasonable.'  If you don't like the solutions [available to you], come up with your own." 
Dan Webre

The Martialist does not constitute legal advice.  It is for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

Copyright © 2003-2004 Phil Elmore, all rights reserved.

Improvised Weapons

By Richard Dimitri


The Maritalist may include many articles on improvised weapons in coming issues, the information in which may overlap at times.  We believe this is the sort of thing you cannot hear enough, however.  In the case of instructors and other figures in the self-defense industry who offer their opinions on the topic, we'll always be glad to hear what they have to say.  Such is the case with this article from Rich Dimitri of Senshido.

WARNING!  The Martialist takes no responsibility for misuse of the information given here.  Follow all applicable laws or you WILL pay the penalty for breaking them.

In a society were the law abiding citizen is frowned on for carrying some means of self protection, in a world where instituted policies take your fundamental right to protect yourself and flush it down the toilet by asking you to trust a system that fails to "disarm" real criminals, there are ways for the law abiding citizen to carry weapons that won’t get him in trouble with the system.

In a penitentiary, when a man feels threatened, he will arm himself with whatever he can find. He might sharpen a stick, a piece of Plexiglas, or metal; he might fit a razor blade to a toothbrush, etc....   Mister Everybody can easily carry "little surprises" that will help him prevail in an attempt on his person. Here are a few suggestions that could be easily used without causing trouble with Big Brother.

PENCILS. You are on your way to your car… so you grab your trusted HB 2 pencil on your way, pause for a few seconds at the electric sharpener, et voila! Held in the ice pick grip, you can cause facial injuries or jam it in someone’s "equipment" on a rear attack.

TOYS. They make great car weapons. Sports Experts makes a beautiful little aluminum baseball bat. Perfect size for junior. Also perfect to crack a punk's head. The idea is to leave it in the car with a baseball glove and a ball. "Your honor, my nephew forgot his things at my place, and my intention was to drop it at his place on my way home…" You have just justified the presence of the bat in your car. Senshido instructor Mark Ste. Marie has a toy gardening shovel that he got for his son…a fabulous red spade that (after testing) sliced a melon in half in 3 hacks. What officer would give the thing a second glance on you back seat?

TOOLS OF YOUR TRADE. You work in a shop… nobody would question the "Olfa" box cutter on your belt. You are an electrician, you say? A few screwdrivers in a nice little pouch on your belt would not attract any undue attention. I mean, who could tell that you actually sharpened one on a belt sander? OK, so you’re a white collar kind of guy, that’s cool. Take a pen, something stylish, maybe a Parker or -- if it is within your means -- a Mont Blanc; why sacrifice style? Replace the ink thing on the inside with a steel rod of the same diameter. On the same belt sander (ask the electrician guy…nicely), give the tip a point, not too much, and you have a nice spike that can be used as a kubotan without attracting unwanted attention.

GROOMING TOOLS. (For ladies) Rat tail combs are great. I would carry one but it has been out of fashion for men to have these in their back pockets since 1978. They're great to jam in, rake, puncture, and perforate a punk’s face. Take a wooden hairbrush and break the handle with a hammer and you get a nice sharp end. "Sorry, your honor, I just couldn’t afford a new brush". Eyeliner pencil can be used the same way an HB 2 can using sufficient force. Travel-size bottles of hairspray filled with Javex or ammonia are great for spraying the facial area.

YOUR CLOTHING. A little file work on studs can go a long way when dealing with the unpleasant elements of society. You know… It’s not your fault if he rubbed his face on you jacket sleeve and lost an ear. So he decided to hang himself using your tie, what could you do? The buckle of a belt works nicely too when swung like a whip.

Weapons, however -- even improvised ones such as the myriad mentioned here -- must be used properly and in conjunction with the human body. A good HTHC (Had to Hand Combat) fighter will not telegraph the use of such weapons. His assailant should become aware of them only after the damage has been done.

If you do not know how to fight or use your own natural weapons, do not attempt to use an extension weapon, ever. For the most part, those who use weapons without knowing how to use their own bodies have their weapons taken away and generally used against them. 

Be wary.