Many of us spend hours and hours training, honing our martial skills so, if the time comes when we need to protect ourselves or the ones around us, we will have a better chance of surviving or getting away. A very important factor to remember in any dangerous situation when you are with people for whom you care or for whom you are responsible is that you are as strong as your weakest link.

I’ve seen it happen many times. A couple of guys will get into a confrontation, totally focused on each other, and their girlfriends are left totally exposed to an attack from one of the fighters' friends or from bystanders. Or a person takes his girlfriend, wife, kids, weaker friend etc., into an area or a situation where he may feel confident in his ability to protect himself – but what about the others? What are you going to do if you are engaged in a fight with someone and someone else grabs your girlfriend, kid, wife, or friend and puts a knife to his or her throat?  What if he tells you to back down? Basically you and the people with you are probably in a lot of trouble. Most people do not think of this scenario when they let their egos get the better of them.  They do not think of it when being challenged or deciding in what area or situation they are putting themselves or the people with them.

As a mountain climber and guide I really had to assess, realistically, my skill level and that of my partners and the people I was guiding. I had to make appropriate choices for the climbs because one mistake could lead to death or serious injury. One time I was in South America on a big mountain and, at the time, there was another team of climbers on the mountain. This team had four experienced climbers and one with little or no experience. The team was all tied together with the inexperienced climber in the middle, figuring if anything went wrong the better climbers could help the weaker climber out. The day this team headed for the summit of the mountain, the conditions on the mountain were really bad. As they were climbing up the glacier, the inexperienced climber fell and, because of the conditions on the mountain that day, the experienced climbers could not stop the fall. Because the team was roped together the inexperienced climber pulled all the other climbers off their footing. (Fortunately their rope caught on a rock, stopping the team from dying.)

Obviously this team of climbers should have chosen a route appropriate to the skill level of their weakest member. The reason I am telling you this story is because, when you are with someone about whom you care or for whom you are responsible, you are tied to that person as if you had a rope connecting you. If they are not safe it could make you “lose your footing,” so to speak. Make good decisions. Consider the skills of those with you, not just your own skills!

Just the other day, while pumping gas at a gas station at one of those convenience stores, I saw this guy with his girlfriend or wife walking through the door to go inside the store. The next thing I knew the guy started yelling and going off at another guy who was coming out of the store. The guy with the woman was yelling, “What you doing looking at my woman, punk!” Then he started shoving the other guy. The guy being shoved started shoving back and the situation was escalating fast.

I watched this scenario take place while watching the woman at the same time.  She was standing alone in the gas station parking lot in a bad part of town at night, while her boyfriend pushed and yelled at some stranger.  The irony of this whole scenario is that her man was supposedly defending her honor while putting her in danger of being attacked by the stranger's friends.  Someone might pull out a weapon.  What would happen if the boyfriend or husband got shot, stabbed, or beaten so badly he couldn't defend himself or that poor woman any longer?  What happens to the woman then?

This whole scene happened in an area where it is not uncommon for people to be carrying, guns, knives, and other sorts of weapons. I was with my wife at the time, so I decided that I had enough gas and left. I know that most of you reading this are not stupid enough to let this happen to you or to put your wife, kids, or girlfriend in danger like this guy did.  It's still amazing – especially for men – that when the ego gets triggered, reasoning and good judgment go right out the window. I think it’s really important when in a situation where you might be confronted or harassed to ask yourself, before reacting, "What are my choices here and what could be the possible consequences of these choices for those around me?"

One of the first things you learn when you enter the field of executive protection or bodyguarding is that the best fighters do not necessarily make the best executive protection specialists. The tendency or desire to deal with a situation through physical force instead of avoidance and proper situational management can leave your client and you in a very bad place. Having spent years taking people to some of the most dangerous places on the planet has given me a great respect for escape versus confrontation, when you have the choice. Having trained executive protection specialists and bodyguards for years in close quarter fighting techniques, I really focus on techniques that can be used to create exits while managing clients. These types of techniques are appropriate for almost any situation in which martial skills are necessary.

One of the problems I see in most martial training is the focus on the engagement between two people, rather than on the environment and the people with and around the principals. Part of that mindset comes from a set structure of training and a win or lose mentality. In a real-life attack or fight, there hardly ever is a real winner. Even if you manage to beat down your attacker or attackers, there are other factors to worry about: getting hurt in the process, the law, the civil courts, the person or persons coming to look for you later, etc.

Go ahead and train at the highest level possible in your martial skills area, but also start developing skills and awareness necessary for survival on the street .  These include environmental awareness, techniques that create escapes rather than engagement, managing the people around you, ego control, and realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses (and those of the people with you). For the most part it takes another set of skills entirely to survive on the street as opposed to the skills for which most people train. Remember, true self defense or personal protection is not winning or losing.  It is surviving and escaping the threat.

I wish for all of you the highest level of training and awareness. Through that, may you never have to resort to a physical confrontation. If physical confrontation is necessary, act appropriately to your situation and with regard for the people with you.

Create escapes and get away as fast as possible.